Ahh, Mumbai...

After spending some 2 weeks in Goa, a couple of days at Anjuna and the remainder at the more sedate and much more beautiful Palolem beach. I had to leave via coach for Mumbai in order to catch a flight to Bangkok. It was an overnight 12 hour journey, the type to which I have become accustom.

I checked into the backpackers mainstay, the Salvation Army hostel, which is more than a little institutionalised. I had a total of 5 days to spend in Mumbai before my flight to Goa. The first day I spent strolling around, as I have made a habit of doing upon arriving in a new city. The second day, I awoke nice and early, and upon leaving the hostel was approached by an English speaking Indian lad, a little older than me asking me if I wanted to appear in a Bollywood production..........Of course I do!

It is fairly common for westerners to be recruited from outside (usually budget) accommodation to appear in Indian television and film productions so I was not concerned.

The first day's filming was on an very low budget local channel, and all that was required of me was to sport a dashing fake beard, a tan beret and look angrily at the gentlemen talking. To add difficulty to this task, the other westerner who was appearing in this series and was also recruited from outside the S.A, had to speak. Les, a Londoner in his mid 50's with a slight lisp decided his character "just had to have a limp," which he effected when returning to his seat after his line. So the most difficult aspect of my role was maintaining a straight face.

After this day's filming and receiving my hefty pay packed equal to 4.50GBP I returned back to the city, pleased with my work and ready to hang my acting……..erm…….fake moustache up. However, later that very evening I was approached by the same lad and asked if I wanted to appear with a speaking role in a nation soap, on Star Plus…….Hell Yes! I was playing an English doctor. How apt.

The filming didn’t begin until about 6 in the evening, so I went with my “agent” for the rest of the day, back to the same set at which I filmed the previous day, and which I now consider far beneath my dignity, to watch some western girls who had been recruited.

When we arrived at the set at which I would be filmed. I was immediately given a suit, stethoscope (which to my dismay was later taken from me) and my lines to learn. Whilst make-up was liberally applied to my face. I was then sitting around for about 2-3 hours, trying, but failing to remember the few lines I was given. When the time came to shoot my scene, I was petrified. I was sat in front of stage lighting, the director, and about 5 others, who I think were there merely to make me nervous and the camera. Remarkably it only took 2 takes, and in my humble opinion, I would rate my performance as nothing less than magnificent. The television program I appeared on was called Kavyanjali, and my episode was to be broadcast the very next night.

I spent the following day visiting Elephanta Caves, anything to kill the time before my moment of fame!

As promised, it was broadcast on Star Plus at 2130hrs on 9th Feb. I recorded it with my digital camera held up to the screen of the television, although, I am told it will eventually be broadcast in the UK on our very own version of Star Plus.

The demographic at which this blog is targeted is, I understand also the demographic which Star Plus aims for. Keep an eye out folks!

The digital camera recording of my performace, together with stills of me in the beret and fake beard have been sent home and are avaliable on request. For a small fee, of course!